When I first started writing my novel I came across the quote above. I quickly made it the wallpaper background of my laptop to use it as my inspiration to keep going on days when I was feeling like an uncreative hack.
Trust me when I tell you that I had a lot of those days.
Writing is a lonely endeavor. It’s just you, your imagination and the page.
Even when you have people that support you it is ultimately up to your desire to get it done. Your need to jettison the people populating the world that you created out of your mind and into the real world.
Now, when you keep your work as close to the vest as I do it only helps to build the walls that isolate you. I have only shown two of the 26 chapters that I’ve written to my husband. If I need his opinion on something the question is so vague that often times it isn’t even worth asking.
In my defense I am writing my manuscript to completion before attempting any form of editing. That being said there is no way that I would let anyone read it before the first edit because…I mean…yikes! I know that this method is what works best for me, but it is also what keeps me on an island.
I am extremely fortunate to be surrounded by people that love and support me. They are quick to tell me how proud they are or how great I’m doing. As much as I appreciate the encouragement and praise, the truth of the matter is that I am the only one that knows what I’ve written. There are days when I feel like what I’ve put on the page isn’t worth the kindness.
This is where the quote comes in.
There are many times when I am plagued with doubt. Fear, even. What if I’ve wasted all of these months writing something that is truly horrible? What if I really don’t know what I’m doing? What if I fail?
Doubt is the biggest killer of dreams and this quote reminds me of that every day.
Each day that I inch closer to the finish line I see that the doubt hasn’t beaten me. Now that I am over halfway through my manuscript I know that the plan that started out as a dream was always stronger than the doubt. It just took dumping some of the can’ts to finally realize it.
How do you deal with self doubt? How do you keep it at bay? Comment below and let me know.