Bonnie stared at the connect-the-dots smattering of chocolate crumbs on her plate.
Eat healthier, she thought. That resolution most definitely did not include having cake for breakfast. Maybe I should have been more specific.
She dropped her elbow on the table and cushioned her cheek in the palm of her hand with a sigh. It was only January 2nd and already each resolution seemed to be toppling like dominoes. First she sent out an all caps, declarative Happy New Year text to her family instead of calling.
Call more, text less: fail.
Bonnie thought about her pristine running shoes and about how yesterday was supposed to be the first day of her new life as a gym rat. Then she thought about how instead of running on a treadmill or lifting weights, she sat on the couch and watched an entire season of “Orphan Black”.
Work out more. Who was she kidding? Work out: fail.
God, she thought. Resolutions are stupid. Why do we even put ourselves through this? Why do we set ourselves up for failure?
Stay positive: fail.
Bonnie could feel herself spiraling and knew that day two of a new year was probably not the best time to get stuck in the mire of negativity and guilt. The patches of heat sprouting along her neck made her worry that she would have no choice.
She watched—disconnected—as she mashed the chocolate crumbs with her thumb. Turning her hand over, she studied the deep brown abstract shape now adhered to her skin. A wave of ease trickled its way through her body. She was being ridiculous. The year had only just begun and she had plenty of time to fulfill the promises she made to herself.
All is not lost she thought, pressing the sweet, buttery goodness on her thumb against her tongue. But, I’ll start tomorrow.